exactly one month ago today, i packed everything i could fit in my car and started a 10 hour drive to california. its a daily battle for myself to let go of everything i left behind and the relationships i lost, but when i wake up every morning i’m happy. happy to be alive, happy to be surrounded by family, happy to finally be chasing my dreams, and most of all happy to be sober. i know in my heart what i did was the best thing for me, and i think thats what makes me constantly happy and proud every single day. i have a job now, getting my CA license, and working on enrolling in school.
but don’t get me wrong, it was also the hardest decision i have ever made in my life. it was so hard to let go of a life i had created for myself, and leave overnight. i don’t think i will ever get closure with some people i would have liked too, but in time it will get easier.
and after all this, i can’t say i’m not lonely because that would be a lie. but im learning to be patient with friendships. i have trust some people too easily. i’d just like a friend who truly understands everything i tell them, i’m sick of pouring my heart out to someone and them giving me a blank stare. i just want someone to be there and reassure me that i’ll be okay.
(Source: quote-book)
